Taken for granted..

At my parents’ recommendation, I watched a Bengali film “Bela Seshe” (At the end of the day) almost after a year of its release.  The story dealt with an elderly couple and the family where the elderly husband decides to divorce his wife after 49 years of married life.  No issues “visible” but loads of issues actually.  The movie had a happy ending where the couple decide not to divorce.

The film clearly deals with issues such as lack of communication, the couple taking each other for granted after few years of married life, the wife being too engrossed in the home and children, the husband totally indifferent to matters of home and children only doing his “duties” by paying for their education and marriage and really never trying to get involved in their life.  The power of “touch” which many couple tend to overlook and no its not about the intimacy, its about the human touch.  Many a times the couple ignore each others wishes, either ignore, laugh it off, make excuses.  Most of the times the couple never actually become friends.

This is the reason so many marriages lack love, they keep on dragging just for the sake of society and children.  The trivial issues pile up and ultimately create cracks in the relationship.  Neither the husband nor the wife make any attempts to understand what’s going wrong in the marriage, rather those trivial matters give rise to resentment, ugly fights, distance, silence, grudges, sorrow.  A relation which is the longest in most of the cases and should be the closest and the happiest as two persons grow old together, share their sorrows and joys, difficult and happy times, raise their children, build a nest, make sacrifices, where two people who should walk together, becomes the unhappiest relation in many cases.

This is one of the most taken for granted relation where sometimes things are assumed, not discussed, the communication channel falters, where boredom and monotony sets in.  Any relation needs to be worked on, to be nurtured, to be enjoyed and for that both the sides need to be communicative and cooperative.

Marriage should not become a burden, a “duty”, an obligation where two people grow out of love and at the end of 3 or 4 decades hold grudge against each other rather than cherishing the long journey..

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