Being spontaneous/impulsive..

When I was younger, I never dwelled too much or may be didn’t plan too much.  Sometimes the spontaneous decisions worked to my favor, sometimes they didn’t.  Like I didn’t plan much about my career prospects, which I think I should have!

I got married young, had an arranged marriage.  I didn’t dwell too much on the looks, money, caste, family, job factor of the groom.  When I met my husband, I liked his smile and simplicity and had the gut feel that he was the right person for me.  Though I didn’t have much maturity or experience about life, my gut feel was absolutely right!

Now, I see women discussing about the right time to have children.  In a way its good that they measure all the pros and cons and then take the plunge towards motherhood. I had my first child within the first year of marriage.  I didn’t think too much in terms of money, my looks, career, freedom and so forth.  Thankfully, that again was a good decision albeit a spontaneous one!

I believe when we do things spontaneously there is a certain amount of apprehension, excitement and joy to it.  When you don’t know what the consequence might be, there is a certain amount of “thrill”.  With age and maturity, I have started to think more although still I am pretty impulsive.  But somewhere the spontaneity is going, might be due to more experience and maturity; but along with the impulsiveness and spontaneity the feeling of “excitement” or the “rush” also is lost somewhere.  Now I know the decision might work or might not work and hence it doesn’t evoke that response that it evoked 15 years before!

Experience brings maturity and stability, but at the same time somewhere emotions of innocence, impulsiveness, “hyper-excitement”, disappointment, anger, etc. become a lot subdued.

May be that’s how we grow, may be that’s what life is all about…


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